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“The best music is essentially there to provide you something to face the world with.”
- Bruce Springsteen -

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

#29 Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen

On the verge of my 30th birthday, I’m feeling the ticking of the clock more than ever. I know! I know! – Thirty is still young. But why do I feel so damn old? And why does Springsteen at 60 years old feel so young?

When I say I feel old, I don’t mean in any physical sense. I work out. I eat right. It is my soul that feels old. It has already started dying at a rapid pace and speeds up towards its eternal resting place every time I hear my alarm clock beckoning me to another day of mindless work. I fear a life with little meaning will slip by before I have a chance to take the wheel and steer.

It seems that if when you are young, you do not discover your talent, your calling, your passion, you lose grip on a passionate driven life. The claws of monotony and superficial expectations crawl in and take hold instead. “It’s much too late” they say. You’re old enough to finally realize there’s more to be had, but it’s too late to do anything about it. You’re on the carousel and it’s spinning way too fast to get off.

I didn’t “get out while [I’m] young”. I was born in nowhere USA and will probably stay here until my final day. In my dreams, I am a gypsy. Nothing holds me down. I travel the world with some good books, good music, and whatever I need to survive. That life has always held appeal to me. Though I do admit I’d like to do it with millions of dollars in the bank. That would be much nicer!

Springsteen is one of the lucky ones. He can do this and still have a family/home life. He broke free of his small town chains and has been on a rampage ever since. That is why at sixty years old he is still driven, still going at it like it’s his job…oh wait…it is his job!

A life lived without pursuit of a larger dream, a I life lived where art and creativity are luxuries and not a way of life is just so agonizing. It “rips the bones from your back”. It leaves you without the ability to control your destiny. It leaves you without the strength to take charge of yourself and your life. It leaves you feeling not quite human, not fully alive.

So many times I have said that I was not made for this life. I believe I was “born to run”, born to fly, born to tear through this life like a tornado in a trailer park. No one is made for this life, even those who seemingly thrive in our world. We’re all running from something and running to something else, something we dream is better. Even someone as lucky as Springsteen is running away and running towards something bigger, he just has a nicer view along the way.

Some day I’ll get to that place I really want to go…. though I still don’t even know what that looks like or where that may be….until then…I’ll just keep on running…

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1 comment:

  1. I know a girl who’s like a sea
    I watch her changing every day for me
    Oh yeah, oh

    One day she’s still, the next she swells
    You can hear the universe in her sea shells
    Oh yeah, oh- U2