#99 Johnny 99 (wow - how did that happen?) by Bruce Springsteen

"A fistfight broke out in the courtroom they had to drag Johnny's girl away

His mama stood up and shouted "Judge don't take my boy this way"

3/17/12: With Springsteen’s new album out with songs like Jack of All Trades and Death to My Hometown, my inclination is to write about the current state of affairs and how the story of Johnny 99 is another tragic outcome of “a world gone wrong”. Johnny took the opportunity “Jack” only dreamed about. However, on the eve of the eve of the day my first child, my baby boy, is due to join us on this earth, one emotion of this song stands out more than the rest. Johnny’s mama….


Jump to 3 and ½ months later: On March 18, 2012 at 6:03 a.m., I gave birth to my first child, my son, who is everything beautiful about the world. Needless to say my life has been quite busy since that day and filled with the deepest love I’ve ever experienced, a love that gets stronger despite my doubts that it’s still possible. I think of how much I love him and how much I want for him in life. I want him to embrace life, be passionate, compassionate, introspective, silly, light hearted, a deep thinker, and everything I am and everything I am not.

“Judge don’t take my boy this way”. How Johnny’s mother must have died that day. How her heart must have been torn from her as she watched her boy surrender to the world.

I leave my child to go to work or school and my uterus aches. I physically feel the separation, possibly like twins when they experience each other’s pain from miles away. My son has become a part of my physicality. I am not whole without him, and for now, he is not whole without me. Some day he will choose a way, a way away from me, away from my husband, away from home. He will face this world and all its choices – a thin line between winners and losers, a thin line where dreams are found and lost - and all I can do is pray he won’t “get caught on the wrong side of that line”. All I can do is love him with all I have and give him a place to return, a heart that will fight for him no matter where he resides in life. Like Johnny’s mother, I will fight for him to the end. Even if he loses faith in himself, I will hold it for him. No matter what…I will love you C forever…no matter what.

For complete lyrics visit: http://brucespringsteen.net/songs/johnny-99

Side Vent

I’ve been reading Tennessee Jones’ short stories based on #Springsteen's “Nebraska”. Oh my god, they are awful. Am I allowed to say that? This book isn’t held up as some kind of cherished Springsteen paraphernalia is it? Yes, I’ve come across a few lines that I find insightful and well written. The stories, though? They’re just rip offs of the songs – just as they are. And it got me thinking – is this how people view my blog? I wanted it to be so much more than that. I wanted it to be insightful and pull me in other directions than the ones I’ve already been pulled in. Besides time, I think that is why I take so long to write. I don’t want to rush it. I want to do these songs justice. I want to do more than tell what’s already been told. So, though it takes a while for me to post new songs, I’m still going at it…thanks for sticking with me…

The Big Man

"...and if I close my eyes...I can still see you dancing...laughing loud and undiminished..."

As someone who has a #Springsteen blog, I feel obligated to write about the passing of Clarence Clemmons. So much has been written already from his fans and those who were fortunate enough to know him, I feel there is little left be said other than something that has struck me personally. Clarence did more than contribute a great sax solo to Jungleland or Secret Garden. He did more than rile up the pit at a show. He was a brother to the man whose music has touched all of our lives. He was his great friend. And they weren't afraid to show it. Seeing the clips and photos of the two of them just being themselves and publicly loving one another has me feeling - wow what a beautiful relationship! What sensitive hearts must lie in these two men - the hearts that allowed them to form a loving bond with one another - the same two hearts that made beautiful music together - music that has become our life's anthem - music that has reached all the way deep inside of us and changed our lives in one way or another. For that, I thank #ClarenceClemmons. His heart will forever live on inside his friend's and ours.